When did you know that you were Pagan?

I thought about this today and at a first glance was going to say about 13 years ago after I picked up my first copy of Cunningham's 'Guide to Solitary Practice'. But I would have to say this is actually incorrect, I believe for me the 'knowing thyself' came much earlier in my life. In fact growing up in a Catholic family and attending a Catholic school was I had to do but I recall I did not like it and a rebelled even before I hit 12 years of age. When left Catholic school somewhere between grades five and six that I knew I was different then most kids and much more accepting of other religious beliefs. I had a great curiosity for other religious practices back then and always asked lots of questions and began to see the differences were actually kind of cool. I did feel sorry for this one kid who was an Orthodox Jew and had told me they were not allowed to put up a Christmas tree. This was told to me during an art class while making ornaments. I thought how sad and I must of looked very worried for the boy, wondering if he would get any presents at all and that would suck if he didn't,! Well I think he read my mind and said “ oh no its okay we exchange gifts for Hanukkah for eight nights' and I was happy again for him and thought cool that's seven more days then we celebrate it!

When the family moved back to Canada from Meriden Ct., and after my short lived days in public schools in the USA, dad toted us back to his little home town a village of St. Andre. He wanted us to go back to Church because we have not done that in a while, for almost 18 months to be exact. He packed the family up every Sunday for mass! Third week I begun to squirm and cry to him that I didn't feel well and wanted to stay home. He was very irate with me knowing damned well I was okay. The two previous visits to church had started me, not only because it was in French, but because there was this guy telling me I am going to hell for sinning. I have heard this speech before from grades 1 to 5 while attending Catholic school, it didn't feel right, I didn't believe the priest then and I didn't believe him in French either! My mother quickly intervened and said 'let the girl stay home' she is old enough and we will only be gone an hour. Dad was not a happy camper, since that day I have only stepped into a church only a handful of times, funerals, weddings (my own), as I grew older it was not as agonizing for me to go for a good reason, family support. Since then my dad had nicked name me his 'little heathen'. The name did not hurt my feelings one bit, it sort of fit for now because I knew that this kind of regimented thing that my family wanted me to participate did not fit me.

My collage days gave me more exposure to different religions, and even though ironically I attended … and get this … a Catholic University … I was exposed to world religions, and took a few classes in religious studies. I read stuff on Nietzsche and Martin Luther's Protestant Reformation and I was astonished on how the different views these folks had on religious organizations. I really agreed with Martin Luther when he said “its the good works and deeds of the folks that gets you into you heaven and not the pardon you had to pay for in gold that promised admittance into heaven”. These things made me crave more information and when I dabbled with a few philosophy classes my eyes were open once again, and it was Thomas Hobbes who said 'religion is the opiate of the masses' and I thought he was talking directly to me on how I felt about many religions who said you must meet you god in his house and pay homage to him. I thought what about nature and the things around you could you not see the divinity that exist in these things too? After my second semester I became good friend with some Native American folks from the Mic Mac and Maliseet Tribes, and I attended my first 'pow wow'. There was no looking back after that, not after sitting in circle being exposed to drumming and chanting, and have been given a gift from a Sp ritual Medicine Man. This felt more natural to me than words could even express. I did not know anything about Wicca and Witchcraft nor did I really now about Celtic or Druid traditions or all the other pantheons that exist out there but I felt I was on the right track and that my search was coming to end. I was in the cradle of the Ancient Ways and new this was how it should be.

When I moved to Florida and about 13 years ago, I visited a book store and picked up Cunningham's book. I read it, and reread it. I got INTERNET and searched and researched, it was then that not only not did I know I was Pagan, but that I always was Pagan! I know many of you have heard this before but ...it was truly like coming home!

Bia' Aletheia

935 words ... I know too much got to cut down!

Drinking Stories and Benders Oh My!

Well I can see that when the WARP begins we are going to be totally stealing ideas. Yes, Spence and Zoe have inspired me to share a few of my own. I ironically, had just 'racked' my homemade Meade for the second time and bottled some of it this evening for a ritual I intend on doing sometime next week. Let me say, that my cheeks are flushed red and I feel the warm buzz and tingle as I write this now. One shot glassful and I am feeling no pain. We will call my first attempt of homemade Meade, (compliments of You Tube and other INTERNET sources) 'Diana's Wickedly Homemade Brew', now the batch could use a little more honey and be a bit sweeter but it kind of tastes like a dry white/honey colored Wine. But its potent, just ask my buddy Jesi! I would be afraid to drink more then two glasses of the stuff.

Anyhow that's not my bender/drinking story.

So here where go: picture this somewhere in rural Canada in a little town called Grand Falls, New Brunswick me and a bunch of high school buddies were really partying hard in the 'potato fields' back home! We have drunk so much we were finally realized we better take inventory because we were running out of the hops and the hard grain stuff too (Beer and Whiskey really but ~ it just sounded cool to say hops and grains, and the after thought here adds on more words … I think I am getting the hang of this Blog Thingy). Unlike most places in this here, United States you can buy liquor, beer, booze and alcohol up to 2:00 am I believe, and then around 6:00 stores are permitted to sell the stuff and the in between only at a few specialized package stores. Something about 'dry county laws' not sure about that but perhaps someone can explain to me later why that is. But getting to my point most places in Canada do not sell alcohol at convenience stores, if at all. There are Government Operated Liquor stores that close shop Friday night at 9:00 PM and do not open back until Monday at 10:00 am. So you have to literally buy you whole weekend supply in one shot or go clubbing to to have an alcoholic beverage on the weekends. Yes ladies and gentlemen if you are out you look for bootleggers and/or cross the border to drink but can't bring large quantities back with you if you were only passing through for a few hours in Maine.

Back to the inventory, about 14 of us getting smashed and we only have 6 beers left and half of a bottle of Whiskey. Its now 8:40 pm. We are in the middle of nowhere and to get to the package store it would take at least 30 – 35 minutes from where we are at. Well one really brave older kid says lets do the run and dubbed me as his traveling companion. This guy a little intoxicated well hell maybe a lot gets into the car and says come on Diana we can make it. Having some liquid courage and the stupidity to try, we got into his Monte Carlo (1979 – this incident by the way took place in 1987 the year before I graduated from high school ) and began speeding through a few small towns to get to the Liquor stores before 9:00 pm. The Government Operated Liquor store will let you in at 8:59 but will lock the door behind you, at 9:00 you don't get access. Well we were doing pretty good a couple of dumb teenagers a little lit and wanting more alcohol, and to be the supplier here, were making good time, so much so that we only noticed the RCMP behind us just below the bridge and about 5 minutes away from the package store. The guy I was with was old enough to buy booze in Canada (18) says ever saw calmly, oh damn … we are getting pulled over. To say the least I was not happy and even more afraid what my folks would do if they found out. The driver just looked at me and winked and said, don't worry. I thought he was out of his mind. We were well over the speed limit by 20 miles and had already been drinking, I was sure we were going to jail! The RCMP walks over to the car and tells my companion to roll down his window. He looked so furious and I thought for sure we were done and the party was over too! He looks at the driver and says “ just where the hell do you two think you are going in such a hurry”. I was lost for words, and the guy next to me calmly says we were just trying to get to the liquor store before it closed. I thought 'Okay' he has lost his mind and we are in big time, knee deep poop, but the RCMP, I guess had a sense of humor and respected honesty; thank the Gods for that, he just laughed shook his head and said okay follow me. He gave us an escort to the package store over the bridge and made the clerk open the door for us, even though it was already 9:00 PM. The party was allowed to continue and this was something I knew I would never forget!

916 + words, I really need to learn to cut down on the details or this will be too much work!

Hope you enjoy this story as much as I did telling it!

Bia' Aletheia aka ~ Diana

She Is Stuck In My Head!

Have you ever picked up a book and somewhwere between chapters two and three you began to hear a dialect in your head that you absolutely know does not belong to you? I still possess some French Canandain Maratime dialect in my everyday speech, and occassionally find myself saying the word 'eh' to puncuate my sentences even after living here in Florida for almost 14 years. But now, after reading this fiction book ... everything I read like a newspaper article, to my fellow Community Pagan Blogs, to constructing e-mails has a very "Southern Styling of a Louisana Southern Belle" in it, and I am not even finished the book! What is up with that?

So here is what is happening, I picked up a copy of Dorothy Morrison's Lucinda's Web, a fiction book written by a pretty classy pagan author, if you haven't guessed it yet, it's one Dorothy Morrison! I am sure many of you are most farmiliar with her books like Everyday Magic or Everyday Tarot. Some of you had even seen her this past year at FPG Samhain 2008 (I did!). She was one of the headliners there! I bought an autographed copy of her 'Utterly Wicked' book (very good resource text by the way for some 'good ole fashion' take kind of charge magick by the way)! The book 'Lucinda's Web is a fiction book she had written recently and is a good read thus far. I burrowed it from my buddy who got it from Dorothy Morrison at FPG too! I am only half way through the text so the complete commentary on the book will have to be reserved for now, but so far so good, and I am enjoying it as a curl up and just relax ... kind of book! It's supenceful and wonderfully humorous and best of all it has Pagan Themes all up in it ... y'all! The main character is a chain smoking feind and I can tell you that I am an ex smoker of 14 years and with all the mention of smoking, dragging and budding out of cigerettes into ashtrays ... makes me want to pick the habit up again. But that's not the point of this blog ... or is it? I am totally in synch with Tess Logan the main character, she is stuck in my head. I can't help but think that Dorothy Morrison has 'bewitched me' the reader somehow and make me really connect magickally not only with the main character and the mysterious story setting but ... I have a hunch is also a big personification of the author herself. As I write this and as crazy as this may sound; I believe the spirit of Dorothy Morrison and/or the character Tess Logan is channelling through me now! Seriously all kidding aside ... you know that you are reading a good book when the character or the author transforms you so much so, that you literally feel them stuck in your head, and especially something as unique as your own dialect changes. I am not only caught up in the moment but I am stuck in the pages that Mrs. Morrison wrote! You know it's bad when your mom asks you on the phone as to why you are talking like your were raised in the Deep South knowing darn well she gave birth to you way up North, and that you sound kind of funny today! I better finsih this book in a hurry before I really do take up smoking again ... can't afford the prices either! Meanwhile, I have ordered M. R. Sellars and am patiently waiting for his sixth installment of the Rowan Gant Series. I need to quit hearing Southern Stylings in everything soon because now I am talking like a Southern Belle!

Has any one of you ever experienced being one with the fiction book? ...the character? ... or the author? ... like this? It's kind of cool! Off to read some more chapters now! Peace!

BB ~ Bia' Aletheia

The Importance of Play!

The Importance of Play … and yes, for Adults too!

I had this dream a few years back and it came a few days ago in the form of a reoccurring dream. Its message was loud and clear and I felt I should share this with you here. It reminded me that work should not be the only thing in ones life. Sometimes I forget that life should be a happy balance of hard work, rest and PLAY. The dream to me was significant because it reminded me of when I was much younger with my two siblings (a brother and a sister) and how we would romp about and explore the world through childlike wonder. I whole heartily believe that no matter what age we are we should never lose this ‘Sense of Wonder’. Yeah you know that song … so I hope you dance! LOL! Here's the dream synopsis:

It was a warm sunny day in the cool shadow of the woods. Three little brown bear cubs were romping about. One particular cub a brave little soul went exploring. It tackled a tree branch with leaves sprouting from the top. The weight of the branch could not support that of the cub so it dangled over the hearth. With a swoosh sound the branch recoiled and the cub scampered off to topple its brother and sister with a friendly pounce. Large friendly trees with gray trunks sheltered the cubs from the hot sun. Soft light danced its way down through the treetops. A pretty yellow butterfly captured the attention of the youngest cub, a male, and it went chasing after it over stones and shrubs. Clumsily it fell to its belly on the green earth. The two sister cubs seemed to smile and laugh at the action of their brother. Everything was green and golden. The younger female cub happened upon on stream and saw her reflection. Frightened she cried out and the two siblings came to the rescue. The eldest sister pounced on the younger causing her to fall into the stream. The bother cub splashed head first into the water to join in on the water play. All three cubs nipped at each other and wrestled. The better part of the day was spent play fighting in this manner. The eldest cub ventured out further, she showed more curiosity, examined the plants, trees and foliage. The cubs rested snuggled by each others side as the sun began to fade. The cry of their mother could be heard in the distance calling them home. All three cubs raced towards the pleasing sound of their mother's cry from their day of delightful play.

I named this dream ‘Best Medicine’ and felt the totem of the Bear Cub had come to me as a reminder of the importance of play. All too often as adults we forget about the rejuvenation qualities that play has in our lives and we should always get a good healthy dose of it, and no matter how old we are!

According to JP Lilly, LCSW, RPT-S and Kevin O'Connor, PhD:

In recent years a growing number of noted mental health professionals have observed that play is as important to human happiness and well being as love and work (Schaefer, 1993). Some of the greatest thinkers of all time, including Aristotle and Plato, have reflected on why play is so fundamental in our lives. The following are some of the many benefits of play that have been described by play theorists.

Play is a fun, enjoyable activity that elevates our spirits and brightens our outlook on life. It expands self-expression, self-knowledge, self-actualization and self-efficacy. Play relieves feelings of stress and boredom, connects us to people in a positive way, stimulates creative thinking and exploration, regulates our emotions, and boosts our ego (Landreth, 2002). In addition, play allows us to practice skills and roles needed for survival. Learning and development are best fostered through play (Russ, 2004).

*Some info derived from article: http://www.a4pt.org/ps.index.cfm?ID=1653

By all means everyone … make the time to play …its good for you, and yeah, it really is!

Brightest Blessings ~ Bia’ Aletheia

Heedful & Mindful

I wanted to discuss today the concepts of being “Heedful” and “Mindful”. Being heedful and/or mindful means to bear in mind; being regardful, attentive or observant of what you are doing and thinking. In attempting to start this book and CD study guide or course if you will, on how to meditate, I was kicked in the rear today by these very concepts. Something I know I truly need in my life and I know could help me tremendously with the stress and demands I face on a daily basis. The book is called ‘Insight Meditation: A Step-by-Step Course on How to Meditate’ by Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. So far so good! Well wham … right their in the first lesson it struck me hard to learn that according to Buddha philosophy being both heedful and mindful is a crucial step in achieving deathlessness. Those who are heedless and mindless are dead already. I tried to apply this to my own life. The idea of living mindlessly is an issue with me personally and this needs to stop! So I am going to get a little personal here so that I can illustrate what I have learned and hope that you too can walk away with something from this sermon. I am a type two diabetic and I should know better on the types of foods I should put into my body! I tend to eat things I know that can hurt me or make me condition worse. However, being human is to err, and often times I eat when I am hungry heedlessly and mindlessly and tend to make up excuses like: I am too busy, too tired, worked too long, this is just quicker and easier, etc., and the list goes on! This kind of thinking or lack thereof ultimately will catch up with me and play havoc with my health. I am mindlessly engaging in an act that according to Buddha is attributing to my death! Wow! I know this is deep stuff! This can apply to everything we do in all our lives, are we going through the motions and not paying attention to what we are doing? How many times have you driven home from work and not even remember the 25 minute or so drive home? That in of itself is pretty scary and I know we all do it? Did we pay attention to detail and take notice of the people who you passed walking by, or the birds perched on a nearby tree? Did you happen to notice the landscape around you or the changing colors in the sky? Do you take time to literally smell the roses and appreciate the things around you that has been given to us by the Devine Creator? Are you really living in the moment or are you letting the world pass you by? I know for me that sometimes eating is psychological and I am seeking to fill a void in the wrong kind of way! I will have to be more mindful of that, and remember that I am alive and this alone is a gift in which I must take better care of heedfully! What should we do to improve the quality of our own lives? Could it be something as simple as being more mindful? I for one have already learned that this could be a step in the right direction!

Blessed Be ~ Bia’ Aletheia

The Law of Reciprocity

Do you follow the Golden Rule or Universal Law of Reciprocity? Are you one of those folks who hold fast to the idea that it is better to give then receive? Do you live by the Cree to treat others as you yourself wish to be treated? Well if so, this falls under the very definition of Reciprocity. Basically, Reciprocity means a give and take relationship. It's the law of cause and effect, and we see it all around us. When you say, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours," that's Reciprocity. So is the old expression, "You get what you pay for!” Does this sound like its making more sense to you? Isn't it funny that we as human beings judge another person's heart by the way that we give? When you truly care for someone, you want to provide for them and give them all that you can. Whether it is your time, money, talent, and/or affections – these acts of giving express your love and admirations for the person whom you are bestowing these gifts upon. So then it would be safe to say the reverse is true as well. People, who tend to hold back when their heart is cold, filled with distrust and perhaps a little bit fear, greed or disdain. Cold-hearted people can expect coldness in return. This kind of thing makes me think of the Law of Attraction as well, where like attracts like. Whatever "seed" is sown, that is the "harvest" that you can expect to "reap"! There are two important lessons in the Principle of Reciprocity. The first is - "If you give, it will be given back to you." Sometimes you get back more than you give! This usually always happens when a person's heart is right. The second lesson is harder to master - "Learn to give without hoping to get anything back!" Either way, you are blessed by the giving that you do! It makes you feel good! This Principle of Reciprocity affects your relationships with your loved ones, neighbors, friends, and even strangers! The Principle of Reciprocity shows that you're blessed in like or better kind, when you use what you have to bless others. You are not blessed if you do otherwise. Our relationship with the Divine, our Gods and Goddesses is also based on Reciprocity: our offerings for their blessings, we give gifts for the gifts They provide. A final note here about Reciprocity, do you remember the recent philosophy of Paying it Forward, where one treats others in kind and performs several acts of kindness. It is believed that when an act of kindness has been bestowed upon you that in return you put out your own acts of kindness and if everyone participates in this that eventually the world will be filled with goodness. I feel that is exactly what Reciprocity is all about and if you send out good by treating others well, it shall be returned to you! It sounds like practicing good karma doesn't it. Well there is something to be said about Karma too (perhaps another future sermon)! For me it's leading by example … be the change you want to see in the world!

Blessed Be
BIA Aletheia