Friday, May 22, 2009

Empath Abilities … My Connections … Really The Final Act IV

Okay I am doing this for Amanda because she mentioned under the comments section of my blog “I did not see where you discussed actually having a deep connection with a person or people”. And in all actuality she was right, I just scratched on the surface a few isolated incidents with the nose bleed story in my younger years, the anxiety a felt belonging to a co-worker and some aggressive youth and the recent bout of sickness I got that is too coincidental and in the same region of the body as someone else I know. This wasn't done on purpose since I spent three days blogging on the topic I figured I write about something else but there is really so much I can discuss about this ability of mine I can actually provide Amanda with some closure on the topic for her … I don't mind either. Several of you seem to be enjoying this topic and I am glad it has invoked some conservation as well.

Growing up I was deeply connected to my sister. She had the gift of foresight and empathic abilities a lot stronger and more in-depth then mine were back then. She is a year younger then I am and sadly we have drifted apart over the last few years due to a falling out. Our connection has been greatly affected since then … but as children and young adults we knew things about each other and felt things about each other that only identical twins have been reported able to do. My sister has since then closed her mind off to her abilities. They use to really scare her, while I was more fascinated by mine. She could tell when someone was hurt and in need much more quickly then I could. When her inner alarms were going off I would follow shortly behind. I envied this in her but not the fear she use to feel … I did a lot of consoling back then and tried to tell her to be clam...I had to be calm for her a lot so that she can pick up on my cues and regulate her breathing and force back the fear and worry. One time when we were painting and washing walls at my first apartment she and were in separate rooms, I in the kitchen, and her in the bedroom … I felt a sudden urge to stop I was doing and go check on her. As I made my way out of the kitchen I heard her let out a scream and 'say something is terribly wrong' … I too felt a strange depression and panic as I made my way toward her I knew I would have to console her. When I looked at her in the bedroom I saw the fear in her eyes and knew immediately to get my car keys … without telling me a word we both knew we should go home to our mother and father. While in the car I asked my sister very calmly “When did he die?”, and she looked at me in shock and said “He just did”! My mother use to run a senior-citizen special care home and this one resident we were both attached to Mr. Bellfleur who wasn't even sick at the time and who we both got attached to as a grandfather figure died of a heart attack in his chair while watching the evening news. My folks thought he dosed off and when they tried to wake him to go to bed they soon realized he past away. My sister told me months later that Mr. Bellfleur had come to her while in my bedroom to say goodbye … and to tell her he loved us like his own grandchildren. When I left the kitchen that night to check on my sister I heard an inner voice tell me “he's gone” … I believe today I was feeling what my sister had felt and just saw. I was never able to see spirits manifest before me until I was much older, in fact this additional gift came to me fairly recent. My sister on the other hand always had it but hated it! After that night and after a more traumatic incident had happened to my sister she has never spoken again about seeing or feeling things. I believe she turned it off … much like I have turned off the ability to see auras a few years back. I had a friend who would say day in and day out 'whats my aura today' after she discovered my ability and I got burned out for her constant needling of the subject. Perhaps an other blog topic at another time. This is the same sister by the way that shared her nose bleed with me on that one strange night as a teenager. I still sense her needs, hopes and fears even though we have not communicated for over two years and I miss her like no tomorrow, but anger has creeped in that has not allowed us to make amends as of yet. Perhaps one day!

I also have a strong connection with my younger brother, its not as powerful as that with my sister but I know when I need to be checking up on him. Over the last few years he has had debilitating diabetes and is suffering with diabetic neuropathy and all the terrible symptoms associated with that. With him I have to be extremely careful being a diabetic myself … lately he is been very depressed and suffering so much so that I have been feeling not only his pains but carrying the burden of his depressions as well. When he first got diagnosed with the condition and was suffering fainting spells from the medication I was in a constant state of worry for him. One time I remember driving to work and all the alarms, bells and whistles start going off and I turned around … something told me to check on him and check on him fast. Its a good thing I did he had passed out on the floor and struck his head on the wall and his three year old daughter was napping at the time. I am glad that this connection I have helped out in this situation. Can you imagine my niece waking up to seeing dad on the floor and all that blood from the gash he gave himself … she would have been terrified.

Other connections I have had is one belonging to my deceased grandfather Leonidas. He died when I was two years of age and even though I barely remember him … I feel his presence in my life like a guardian spirit. I don't talk about him much but feel its important to mention him here. I have often heard the stories my relatives tell about him and his uncanny ability to see things and know certain events about the future (heredity you ain't' kidding). My mother recounted a story where she was driving back from the hospital with him and he told his three daughters and wife about how beautiful his funeral was going to be and what his girls were going to wear and how his casket was going to be. They thought it was the medication wearing off but when they got home they saw blood all over the passenger window where he had been leaning. He suffered from a massive aneurysm in the car but not before telling his family he loved him. My grandmother told me his relatives use to jokingly call him the warlock … but I don't like the name … he was the grand-poo-bah family witch as far as I am concerned. He had the gifts and my relatives avoided discussing those topics because of their catholic up-bringing. Back in 2001 I was visited by the spirit of my aunt before she died in a dream state telling me that she was waiting for us to get to CT and not to worry. We had gotten phone call to get to CT before she died. The day before she was died of Hopkins Disease a real bad form of cancer and we were told she didn't have long. She had told me while sleeping in an 12 passenger van rented in Florida and during the drive to CT that she is going to be fine and was waiting for us. I woke up startled from the dream and scared the heck out of my grandmother who started crying and she looked at me and asked if they were too late … I told her 'no' she is waiting and the entire family in the van began to sob. I said trust me she is waiting. When we got to CT and at the hospital she was on all kinds of machines and could barely talk she grabbed my hand and squeezed it then winked at me saying 'you got my message' … I nodded! She dies the next day while we were all with her and she passed very peacefully. I think about that trip and her a lot since then. And how everything happened as it did. In my dream she had a full head of beautiful auburn hair and looked healthy and she also told me that she was going to be fine and well. I am glad that she suffers no more and I feel very connected to her not like a guardian spirit because she belongs to my sister if that makes any kind of sense. This aunt is her godmother and I feel her presence from time to time but know that she has been keeping a watchful eye on my sister and her twin boys that recently gave birth too! I feel this is as it should be!

To end before this topic turns into a posting of a novel … I do often indeed feel connections to folks that I don't know personally and whom I am not related to. Do you remember the year some Cuban refugees were hosed down by Miami Coast Guards before they made it to shore. This infuriated me and I cried for days about that incident. The rule was if they don't make it to shore they can't stay. I felt their desperation and sadness for their living conditions and the need to flee their own country for a better life. Why do we have to be so cruel to folks sometimes. Live and Let Live … is not practiced nearly enough as it should! It didn't help that I was taking Nonviolence Training that year either and being an overly 'sensitive' person ... everything was amplified by the power of 10. The 911 incident had me physically sick and in shock for months. I think since that incident there was a major shift in the force , so much so that we see more compassion and more empathic thought in individual. What say you all about Indigo Children or folks? I can't help but wonder if us Empaths were once Indigo as children but could not put a name to it… this may be another blog topic all together too! Okay this is just plain ridiculous this is 1866 words and I doubt this will all get read! I hope you do though!

BB ~ Bia' Aletheia

PS. If I don't win this blog contest Stray Hairs and myself should at least get honorable mention for some of the longest blogs … lol! Thanks Amanda for making me add more to this topic as well. I want you to feel like I covered all the bases here that I possibly could! WOOT 1800 +!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, very long but worth reading. You always make me feel like I am part of the story. I can see your sister and you in your apartment. But anyway thank you. That was exactly what I wanted others to realize. You can have the best shields and there are those that can get around them because of the deep connection.
    I cried for days after 9/11 and I was not there did not have a family member dies and did not know anybody there. But the pain that all those deaths caused rocked me back on my heels.